Early this past fall, I had quite an experience that truly showed me God’s heart for me. It had been a busy day at the office, and I knew time would not permit for a sit-down lunch break. Ever the multi-tasker, I jumped in the car and headed to a nearby restaurant for take out. I managed to check and respond to email, text, and place a to-go order simultaneously. I was so consumed with a conference call I barely noticed the waitress handing me my food. Graciously thanking her I grabbed the food and headed for the door, when I realized that I had forgotten to ask for condiments. Returning to the counter I said “ma’am may I please have some ketchup and mustard packets”. She put the ketchup in my bag and explained that they were out of mustard packets. I just assumed she would give me mustard in the little clear plastic containers and I looked away. Without ever checking the bag, I thanked her again and quickly headed back to the office.
My husband had another meeting and I wanted him to eat before it began. I ended my conversation and started to dig into the take out bag to set up lunch on the desk. I looked down and much to my surprise, I noticed a family size bottle of mustard. Clearly, the girl had made a mistake and accidentally given me the wrong thing. I could remember specifically asking for ketchup and mustard packets….the little ones. This had to be a grave, but honest mistake. That poor girl could get in trouble for this at work, and so I grabbed my car keys to go return the large mustard. As I started walking to the door I was stopped cold in my tracks. The Lord began to deal with my heart on the spot. I felt like He was saying to me “when you expect me to bless you, you believe I’m going to do it. But why is it that the level in which you think I’m going to bless you is so small compared to the capacity in which I desire to bless you?” If this question just resonated with your spirit man it’s completely alright to say OUCH!!!!! To say I cried as these words rang out inside my heart is a total understatement.
I had just been presented with the reality that I had been wishing rather than believing. See, what characterizes a wish is the desired possibility of something happening. However, there’s a sense of safety in wishing, nothing lost and nothing gained. If it happens great, if it doesn’t happen, oh well. Faith, my friends, is irrational. It’s the absolute nonexistence of a plan B, a second opinion or alternate option. I had wished for a small mustard packet and would have been alright eating my sandwich without it. I didn’t expect to get a huge family sized bottle of it. God was showing me that I had to enlarge my expectation. I had allowed myself to settle into the safety of my wishes, rather than to soar into the risk that is my faith in my Father who is willing and able. God was teaching me that I had to learn to partner with his dreams for me, if they were going to become a reality in my life. No one wants to be left on a boat without a paddle, but if it’s sinking just get out and trust you CAN walk on the water.
This incident with something as simple as mustard, so challenged me that I had to relearn how to believe and trust. What is so amazing is that within weeks, my husband and I moved into our home, which was so much more than what we so called “ were believing God for”. In this season of fasting, I’m reminded of this lesson, as once again I find myself believing for more. But now I want the family size manifestation of God’s blessing. I’m learning to enlarge and expand my vision. Exceedingly and abundantly above, really means just that. “ …For when you grant a blessing oh Lord, it is an eternal blessing.” I Chron 17:27